I have only known the kids for about three years. I missed seeing their cute baby faces. Which is actually ok. Babies kinda freak me out. I mean don't get me wrong babies are cute an all.....but they are so breakable. It freaks me out.
The whole baby in your stomach freaks me out. It is like an alien that is going to pop out an latch on to your boob. Breastfeeding TOTALLY freaks me out. I understand that your baby needs to eat but I believe that modesty is still important. It is not ok for me to whip out my boob in public. How is it ok for someone to whip theirs out to feed their baby? I get all queazy with the idea of feeling the baby kick or move inside.
Anyways......I know that I am awesome with kids and I love kids. I have been told that I would make a fantastic mother. I am just a little freaked out about having them and get a little nauseous if i think about it. I am not completely against the idea but not completely for it either.
I have always been this way. Well ok I used to say that I absolutely did NOT want to have kids....but now I kind of would like to leave it up to fate or adoption.
I never knew why I felt this way. Many girls grow up wanting to be a mother. I grew up with other goals about my education and career choices. I never thought I was weird for being a little different I just knew I couldn't relate to women whose primary goals revolve around being a mother.
I recently found out what childhood events "might" have lead to my queazy and freaked out feelings toward pregnancy.
Picture this.......I am a sweet four year old. BTW, I was a really cute kid. My Aunt and Uncle are over visiting with my new baby cousin. Apparently my cousin got hungry and my aunt was breast-feeding her. I am sure that the whole breastfeeding concept was something new to me. I peered over curiously and my aunt unlatched her boob and SHOT ME IN THE FACE with breast milk. EEWWWWW!!!
Disgusting, right!!!
I really hope that I was a fast little four year old and I was able to react quickly to get out of the line of fire. I wonder how far that stuff can shoot out? SO GROSS! I am getting naucious just thinking about it.
Maybe that event shaped me more than I think? Maybe the shock of being shot in the face with breast milk sunk into my psyche and made the whole idea of having kids a little more nauseating. Or maybe I would be like this even if that didn't happen to me. Any thoughts?
Yeah, I'd say you were scarred Jaymie. Especially since you remember it so vividly. The cells in breasts for making breast milk are remarkable. They are kicked into gear by a hormone called prolactin, which is the same hormone that gets released after sexual activity to counteract sexual arousal (otherwise we'd still be turned on after sex).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'd say that you were the right age to be freaked out by getting shot in the face. I don't know if it will help, but you might be interested to read how milk is made and how amazing that women's bodies can make the perfect food for newborn babies.
Don't feel bad that breastfeeding freaks you out. Lots of people have mild to severe phobias from stuff that happened in childhood.
It is so nice having smart scientist friends. Thanks for the info. If i can calm my stomach long enough to google it I might look up how breast milk is made. But I think i might just google info about the fears/phobias of breast milk.
DeleteThanks for you comment.
Lol how am I your best friend and have NEVER heard this story??? That's totally your issue. Lol
ReplyDeleteI dunno, even though I'd love kids, it's never been my priority either, which is probably why you and kaitlin are my best buds. I never had a taboo experience with breast milk like you. While the idea of breastfeeding grosses me out personally, I couldn't care less if someone else whips out their tit in public. I'm just vain and always want to have super gorgeous tits....fuck me if I let some little asshole suck these titties saggy!!! I dont give shit if it came out of my body. I made that child and I can take him/her out just as fast!!! Lol ok, jk about that part.