Guest Post Mr. Not My Match

Yeahhhh!  I am excited to share another crazy story with you.  This post comes from one of my wonderful friends.  She has done the whole online dating thing on and off for years.  The last time was at least 3 years ago.  She decided to try Match.com after finally breaking it off completely with this guy that was not-so good for her (they had been on and off for 3 years).  A few months ago she told me the whole idea of online dating made her want to crawl into the fetal position and cry.  That comment totally made me laugh.  Just picture it. Thankfully, and somewhat due to my great influence, she was able to give it another go.  This was her first venture back into the treacherous waters of ONLINE dating.  I convinced her to write it down and share it.  Blogging really is very cathartic.  And hey at least we all get to be amused now. 

Read and enjoy!!!

She even came up with the post title.  I really like it.  Here it is.  Feel free to leave a comment!!!!  YEAH!!!

On Friday night I went on a date with a guy I met on Match.com. We had been talking consistently the week prior, exchanging several text messages, a few hour long phone conversations, and we even video chatted (which was nice because I was able to see if he was who he said he was). Mr Match was attractive, 32, owned his own home and took pride in its contents. He seemed responsible, funny, smart, we had some common interests, and seemed very interested in me. As this was my third "first" date since my break-up with my long term ex, I was still pretty nervous, and really don't see the "fun" in this whole dating thing. But trying not to take it all too seriously, all the same. Mr Match suggested a restaurant in my city, made reservations, and preferred to pick me up. I agreed. We had a 7:15 reservation at a place just 5 minutes from my house, and he arrived a little after 6!!

So instead of just picking me up, he comes in. He walks in after a quick hug, and begins to survey and question different aspects of my house. I thought maybe he was just nervous, but after a while I began to realize that he was a guy with no filter. He payed more attention to my house than me. And was friendly with my cat :) We sat on the couch for a bit since we were so early for dinner, and chatted. I asked him how his day was, and got a short response. He made some interesting confessions. He told me that the green shirt he had on, he always wears on first dates. He told me that he doesn't take complements well, and doesn't like to give them, either. He mentioned that he would never date anyone with a tattoo and prefers pale skin (yikes) and he was glad that I didn't have any dietary restrictions cause he hates that. Wow! At this point my head was kind of spinning and felt like I wasted my time getting all dolled up as I obviously wasn't going to be complemented for it.

We headed out for dinner. He opened my car door for me. Before we left we sat in the car for a sec so he could put the restaurant address in his GPS, even though I told him that I knew where we were going... Okay :) He then turned on his music...it was classical/instrumental. Interesting choice. Not something I'd normally play in my car. The place was at the mall and it was very crowded. He seemed to get stressed quick that we couldn't find parking, and was sort of erratic in finding a spot. At this point I knew this guy was a little OCD/Bipolar... I can spot those tendencies a mile away.

We made it to the restaurant, sat down and checked out the sushi menu. He was less concerned with my order preferences, and more on his own. I suggested we order some rolls to share, but he wasn't feeling it. He ordered some appetizers and some saki and and I ordered a beer (I really needed one at this point). The waitress brought the saki and two shot glasses and left them on the table. When she walked away he says "she just totally fucked up!" This totally caught me off guard. I asked why and he said she should have poured it for us. Who cares! I thought it was rude of him to act that way. So we poured each others saki and continued on.

We ate a little, and chatted more. He is very talkative (and opinionated). The conversation was descent, but a few other choice comments came out that I can't get over:

-He doesn't maintain any real friendships and doesn't feel the need to

-He goes to Disneyland by himself, quite often (my personal opinion on that is that it's really strange)

-He asked me who my favorite Disney princess was...and told me his was Snow White.

-He classified himself as "the nicest asshole you'll ever meet"

-Also that he is a "serial first dater". I'm starting to see why!

There were many other interesting comments made but I was kind of buzzed at this point (thankfully) and don't remember anymore. He payed the tab and I thanked him. He made the comment that I could pay next time. I really didn't appreciate that comment at all. I don't think men should always have to pay, but there’s a better way to handle that. I also feel if a man is trying to win you over and is a true gentleman, he prefers to pay. Just saying.

On the way back to the car, we passed by the Yankee Candle store, and he insisted we go in. He tells me he loves candles in his house, and was checking out the scents. He looked around for a while and seemed restless about not buying one. He asked the sale clerk when the sale was over, so he could come back. Oye. In the car on the way back, he reaches behind my seat and hands me a burned CD. He said it was gift for coming on the date (what?) It had printed label, which read "the happy CD". I asked him what that was all about and he said it had a bunch of songs on there that he liked and made him happy. With the classical music, solo Disney trips, and candle loving, I could only imagine what was on there. He said he gives them out to people he meets regularly. I thanked him.

When we got back, he kind of assumed he was coming in. He did. Things went a bit further than I had intended. Although I found him to be quite odd, and kind of a handful, he was attractive. I knew in the back of my mind I wasn't interested in seeing him again after this night, so figured what the heck. He texted me random things the next day. After processing the date, I really had no interest in dealing with him further. I always feel it best to be honest and upfront, because that is the treatment that I would wish to get from a man if the situation were opposite. I texted him "thank you for last night, it was nice meeting you. I wish you the best in your future dating endeavors, but think that you and I are not quite a match" He responded "oh, ok. Good luck to you too" nice and clean, no loose ends, no questions.

It's the best way no matter how the date went. And hey, I got a consolation prize, a CD with the lamest music I've ever heard a grown man listen to. Put it this way... I could very easily play it in my classroom with my pre-k students!