I need a ruling....Speed Dating....Date or Not???

I need a ruling........ Would a speed dating event count as a Date of the Month?

I am slightly obsessed with Groupon and recently saw a deal for a speed dating event in LA.  So I started to wonder if that could count as a date of the month.

Speed would would be like 8 to 10 mini dates.  Does that add up to the date of the month?

A friend of mine recently told me that she wanted me to fail at least one month in the date of the month challenge.   It isn’t out of spite or anything and she said it in a loving way.  She just wants to read about my possible humiliation and cringe with me as I make my way through the penalties. I am a pretty outgoing person but the consequence for missing a month go WAY out of my comfort zone.   

For those of you that are not familiar with the consequences I will refresh your memory.  

If I fail to go out with someone in a calendar month I am subject to the penalties, which include:

 A bit of social shame from my supportive friends who are also participating in the Date of the Month.

When out on a group event, my friends get to pick a man (the target) which I must approach and talk to as well as fulfill the second challenge of asking him out. 
      -If the target says “Yes”, I must go on the date.

3)  In the event of the target saying “No”, my friends get to select a secondary target that I must approach, talk to, and ask out. 
   -If the secondary target says “Yes”, I must go on the date.

4)  If the secondary target says “No”, the punishment is over.
     I really hope my friends buy me a pity drink. 

Yep, that is way out of my comfort zone.  In the event that I fail to find a date of the month I am sure my friends would survey the surroundings and choose an acceptable target.  I know they are not going to pick someone who looks like an ass or is obviously unapproachable.  At least I hope they don’t.  But maybe they would just to watch me cringe even more.  I will have to remember to not piss them off the week before.  I also have the idea of winning pretty deeply engrained in my head.  I do not like to fail. 

So would a speed dating event count for the month so I don’t have to face the other consequences?  The other problem is that the speed-dating event might end up being worse.   Eeks!!! 

Whoring it up for Halloween

I love Halloween.  It is my absolute favorite Holiday.  I love the creative costumes and the fun energy that this holidays brings with it.  Ohh and there is tons of hot guysso thats a plus.

As I am sure you have noticed, Halloween is also many peoples excuse to be as naked as possible.  It is the one time of the year that it is ok to whore it up.  A few years ago it was only the girls that partook in this ritual but this year I was both impressed and then other times horrified to see that the guys had joined in on the almost naked Halloween.  There were a few naked superheros.  I will tell you more about one particular superhero later.  The was also this naked boxer......but I tried to divert my gaze when he walked by.  Not a pretty sight. 

Getting back to whoring it up for Halloween.  I will not pretend I am above using this wonderful holiday to show a little more skin.  I have and will probably do so again.  I do however like to be creative about it.  In past years I have made up my own casino game called Tit-Le-Wings.  Where I had a plastic wine class between my breasts and the object was to aim well enough to get the flat plastic chip in the cup.  I had a few people play and win.

Last night my friend and I went to Miss Kitty's Halloween party and the Dragonfly in Hollywood.  I was feeling particularly blah about going out.  It took a lot of finesse from Kaitlin for me to get pumped.     I was also feeling particularly modest.  I decided to borrow an apron I had made for my sister and grabbed an old and unused vibrator that I had and be a dissatisfied housewife.  The toy I brought with me is called Chocolate Thunder and it is HUGE.  It is easily 9 inches long and well, very intimidating. 

You are probably wondering why in the world would I have unused sex toys just laying round.   Well, see back in my early 20's I was a consultant for a company and sold sex toys and other intimate items.  Think of Tupperware but wayyyyyy more fun. 

My costume was a hit.  The fact that I had a big black dick in my hand led to getting hit on by the black bouncer and a sexy black guy.  The sexy black guy is a personal trainer.   He bought me a drink.  It has been a long time since a sexy stranger bought me a drink.  Maybe I should carry a big black dick around more often.......No that would just be wierd.

At one point of the night one of the naked superheros walked by our group.  The superhero was wearing a mask, a cap, and his junk was in a banana hammock.  He had a nice body and a nice smile. One of my friends asked him if his junk was real.  He informed her it was and suggested she feel it.  She is married and would not but instantly turned to me and suggested I feel it.  Whatever!!!  I was a little tipsy.  So I did.   It was real.  Chocolate Thunder is bigger.   I then said, "That is the most action I have gotten in awhile." My friends and I laughed.   Superhero apparently thought my comment meant he should zone in on me and  up his game.  Just so you know.....that isnt what I meant.  He got all touchy feely.  He was a cute naked man-whore but NO.

Later in the night my friend and I stated talking to 2 guys.  They were genuinely nice and interesting.  I thought one of them was cute.  He seemed like a genuine good guy.  We all chatted for awhile then my friend wanted to go inside with the rest of our group.  

The rest of the night was spent dancing and watching a few of the shows they had going on.  The night started to wind down.  I saw the cute guy from earlier and decided to do something brave and out of character.  I walked up to him and said hello then said that I wanted to give him my number so maybe we could get together and do something sometime.  He texted me later that night. Not a booty call or anything creepy like that. 

I am a little impressed by myself  but also wondering is I came off as too forward. 

OKCupid........................ more like OKStupid

I am getting really burned out on the whole internet dating.  Part of that could be because I just started an amazing new job that I love and have less free time to goof around on the internet. 

The other part is internet dating has just not been working for me.  Let me tell you about some of the winners that I have seen online or been contacted by.

 Guy #1

I received a nice friendly yet short message from this guy so I decided to write back.  I asked him how his night was going.  He responded within minutes.  His message said, "it wasnt amazing like id hoped it would be but your definately helping make it shine even if its dark out."  He went on to tell me that I was utterly beautiful. 
Kinda creepy, right, and a bit desperate.  He tried to make plans but I was not interested.

Guy #2

This guy and I exchanged quite a few emails.  He started using pet names way to soon.  He would call me sweetheart or hun.  I just dont like it.  It creates a false sense of intimacy.  I dont like it.

Guy #3

I got a short  email from this guy with a compliment.  The message said, I like that picture of you in front of the castle.  I took some time to travel and I put some of the pictures on my profile.  That picture is of me in front of the Taj Mahal. 

Guy # 4, 5, and 6

Random emails from guys in India.  Really, just because I traveled to your country once does not mean I want to chat with you.  One of the messages said, "Hey sexy.  You single?  Men around blind or dumb?"  

Guy #7

This guy used his OKCupid profile to preach about the government and his conspiracy theories.  He also talked about having visions of events.  He sounds all crazy and then get pretentious and talks about yachting.   He continued to spew his bullshit about how corrupt the world is.   He had a picture of his toilet.  He had drawn a picture on the lid.  Crazy!!!!

Guy #8
His screen name was CUMPLAY69.    REALLY!!! WTF!!!!!

Guy #9
I got an instant message from this guy.  We exchanged initial greetings and then he say "Nice tits"  He is observant. 

Guy #10, 11, 12
Random offers of sex.  No thanks.  Not interested.

So I think in order to keep my sanity I am going to take a break from online dating.  I am still committed to my date of the month but am going to need to pursue other ways of meeting guys.

Anyone have a friend or family member you think I would be interested in????  Maybe???? 

Crazy Exes

I think of myself as a very rational person.  I understand that relationships end sometimes and an appropriately sad by it.  I have NEVER been a crazy ex.

I have NEVER driven past an ex's house just to see if he was home.
I have NEVER purposely stayed in contact with an ex's friends or family so that I could snoop for information about the ex.
I have NEVER parked my car across the street from an ex's home or work to spy on him.
I have NEVER called from a blocked number hoping that the ex would answer.
I have NEVER changed my number and called an ex hoping that he would answer and we could talk.
I have NEVER damaged an ex's property  (keying his car or egging his house.)
I have NEVER drunk dialed exes.....mostly because I have very good observant friends that thankfully stopped me.
I have NEVER purposely gone to places I know an ex went to.
I have NEVER tried to date an ex's friend in an attempt to make him jealous.
and
I have NEVER posted crazy status updates on Facebook about the ex or breaking up.



Ya know what, some of those things sound like fun.  I am not crazy.  I just think it would be kinda fun to do some old school pranks (nothing destructive.... I am not crazy or mean)
....like order 10 pizzas to be delivered to his house after driving by and confirmed he is there.
or maybe do a pretend drunk dial and say some crazy shit.   The good thing is you are not really drunk so you actually remember what you said.  You could make it seriously funny and come off really crazy and needy.  I wonder if I could be convincing enough.

I know that I would NEVER actually take the time to actually do either of them but it sounds like fun.

Maybe if I had first hand experience with a crazy ex I would feel differently.  I have never been on the receiving side of a crazy ex.  Don't get me wrong, I have met my fair share of crazies.    I just thankfully didn't date the crazies or give them anything more than my phone number.  I do have a great story about one crazy guy I met.  I will have to share later.


 I do have a few friends that have first hand knowledge.  I listen to their stories with a mix of amusement and horror.  They have exes that call years after they broke up  (usually around the holidays).  They have stories about exes driving past their house at 3:00 in the morning,  showing up without being invited to events they were going to be at, calling and begging them to get back together, threatening to hurt themselves, and other crazy shit.

 I know I have NEVER been the crazy ex in any ones story.  I guess I should be glad but I am having mixed feelings.   While it is always nice to be remembered, I guess it is better to be remembered as nice. 

Any thoughts?

How long does it take to get over someone?

So I have a habit of not deleting old voicemails and text messages.  I don’t know why.  Well tonight my voicemail inbox was full so I was forced to delete the messages.  I didn’t want to just delete all of the messages incase there was something important.  So I started listening to each message.  Then I can across the old messages from the guy I dated last. 

I really liked this guy.  I am just going to call him M.  I met M at a party at a friend’s house.  He had charisma and confidence.  I don’t even remember what we talked about but I remember thinking he was easy to talk to.  I felt comfortable around him.  I left the party before he did.  The next day my friend told me he asked about me.    So I Facebook stalked him.  

I sent him a message on Facebook and we started emailing.  After about a week of emails M asked me out.  We went miniature golfing and to lunch.  It was a really fun first date.  At the end of the date I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  I remember wondering how long I should wait to text him.  He beat me to it.  I got a sweet text from him before I even made it home.  We went on a second date a few days later. 

We dated for about 4 months.  Things were amazing in the beginning but then…….I don’t know something shifted.  He was getting busy with work and making less of an effort to see each other. 

We got in a fight and I ended it because he lied to me.  It was over something stupid.  Funny enough I saw the lie on my facebook timeline.  One of his friends had checked him in a place on their status update.  I didn’t even have to stalk. 

That was in the begging of August.   Stupid things will remind me of him and I get a little sad.  I have also had a few random dreams that he was in.  It hasn’t happen recently. 

So tonight when I came across the old messages I should have just deleted them without listening.  I should have but of course..... I didn’t.   I listened to each one.  Some were really sweet. I actually almost cried over one particularly sweet message that included him giving me a detailed account of where he was on this trip he took.  He described everything and then said he missed me and wished I were there.   

Crap!!!!  How long does it actually take to get over someone?

Date of the month-October Saturday late lunch

I was feeling really lazy on Saturday afternoon.  It was one of those days that you just want to stay in pj’s and don’t even want to think about putting make-up on. But I had already agreed to a late lunch date with October.  So I dragged myself up and got ready.  He had wanted a sandwich place.  It sounded good…a nice low-pressure date. 

I like to talk to any guy I am going to go out with on the phone before we meet.  It is nice to hear their voice and get to know them a bit more.  October and I had only talked via email and text.  He seemed to prefer text and I just never found the time to call.  I kinda felt like I was going in blind.

We met in front of the deli.  He walked up and, damn, he is gorgeous black man.  Not that his ethnicity matters but just in case you were wondering.  He is around 5’11 with an athletic build and nice smile. 

I was thinking that I was glad I dragged myself up and did my makeup. He complimented me on my eyes which looked greener thanks to some fun makeup tricks.  I highly recommend Bare Essentials. 

We hugged quickly and talked for a few minutes before going inside. October seemed to have a good sense of humor. He held the door open to the restaurant.   We ordered at the counter and then he pulled back the chair for me to sit down……wow.    Chivalry is not dead. 

So we sit down and October asks me if I am religious.  Then he says, “Do you believe in god?”  Keep in mind that we are less then 10 minutes into the date and no I didn’t meet him on Christian Mingle or any other religious site. I did meet him on OKcupid. 

Isn’t religion one of the topics that are taboo to talk about on a first date?  What are the other taboo topics?  Politics? 

So I answered his questions.  I am not very religious and lean toward the agnostic side.  I am just not convinced either way and I don’t go to church. I am also enough of a feminist to strongly dislike the idea of a woman being subservient to her husband.  I learned that October is very religious and attends church on a regular basis.  There it is…..I found the thing that makes him wrong for me.  Too bad, he is cute. 

We continued talking.  I asked him how many siblings he has.  He vaguely said a few.  Then asked me about my siblings.  Yeah I didn’t let it go. He said he is in the middle.  Still vague…. I finally got a direct answer and it turns out he is one of 16.  All 16 are full siblings.  Yeah I was stunned too. 

At one point I said something about my dad.  He informed me that that was the first time I had said anything about my dad.  Apparently he was keeping track.  He said, “Before you mentioned him, I was wondering if you had father issues.”  Yep....that comment annoyed me.  I found that comment rude.  

October seemed to be enjoying himself.  He laughed at my jokes and kept looking at me with an intense look of interests.  It was both flattering and odd.  The look was something like the way you would look at a house you’re interested in but has some things you would want to change.  I am not a fixer-upper.   

Relationship Status Bracelet

This weekend I went to the avocado festival.  While walking around I saw a booth that was giving away  relationship status bracelets.  Ya know the thick rubber ones like the I love Boobies champagne has.  Instead of recognizing the importance of ta-tas these bracelets advertised the wearers relationship status.  I saw a couple holding hands each wearing an "In a Relationship" status bracelet.  Many of you are probably wondering if I grabbed one that proudly declared "Single".  The answer is ......no.  I thought about it for a second.  Then decided I just didn't want to so blatantly advertise my single life when there were so many happy couples all over the place that were overjoyed to show off their  "In a Relationship" status.

Now I am not embarrassed to be single.  I just felt like the relationship status bracelets were well really, really cheesy. 

It did give me an idea.  Los Angeles is definitely a commuter city.  We are very attached to our cars and spend a lot of time in them.  There has been many times that I have looked over and seen a sexy man in the car next to me.  I smile.  He smiles.  I pass him.  He passes me.  We smile and maybe even wave but flirting while driving never actually goes anywhere because we are both going different places.  I am sure many of you have experienced something similar.

So I was thinking that it would be so cool if we could combine our car society and dating.  What if there were some kind of dating website that linked our profile to a number and that number was discreetly placed on our cars.   That way when you see that hot guy while stuck in traffic on the 405 you can do something.    Just type in the number that goes with that person to learn more about them and communicate through the website.  It can take what would have been a missed connections and offer a place to communicate with each other.

I am sure there is some safely concerns to be worked out so the process is effective and safe.

  
Weather you know me personally or not....please feel free to comment on any of the posts.

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Thanks for reading!!!!

Jury Duty= possible place to meet a sexy man--Maybe

About a month ago I got a jury duty summons in the mail.  I figured I would call in every day and never actually have to show up.  Ya, not this time.  This time I actually had to show up.  So I thought that it might be a new option for meeting new people and perhaps a sexy single man.  

So just in case you have never actually had to appear for jury duty I will explain the process.  Your group shows up at the court and everyone is given a number.  A court officer has everyone go into the courtroom where the judge, prosecutor, defense attorney, and defendant are all waiting.  Everyone swears to tell the truth and then each potential juror is interviewed.  Everyone has to answer questions about where they live and how long they have lived there, their occupation, martial status, children, and occupation of significant other and children (if applicable).  The judge leads the discussion and seemed to really enjoy this part.  Then the lawyers get to ask additional questions. 

Think about the potential here.  Any attractive man has to announce their marital status.  The married ones can be weeded out.  My group had 38 potential jurors and the ages spanned from around 20 to over 60.  Half were women and that leaves 19 men. There were about 4 guys that fell within my dating age range and they all ended up being married and some with kids.   However, to me the ONLY attractive man was the prosecutor and the judge had already instructed us not to talk to the lawyers. 

So moral of the story…….jury duty is yet another place where I can NOT meet a man and I actually ended up getting selected to be on the jury panel. 

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? More importantly, where can I meet men?

So the last three guys I have gone out with I met online. You're thinking that I should be meeting guys in other ways.  Your right!  I totally agree with you.  But, seriously.  Think about it.  When was the last time you actually met a guy at a bar or party?  It just doesn't happen very often.  I met the last guy I dated before embarking on this adventure in a more traditional way (at a friend’s party) and that didn’t work out any better than if I had met him in another way.  

Think about this, when you do meet a guy in a more traditional way you don’t even know if he is single.  It's not like his stats are printed on the back of his t-shirt.  That would be cool!!!  If on the back of his t-shirt it listed his marital status, career, education, likes, dislikes, and other selling points. I use the phrase “selling points” because that's really what dating is about.  We are trying to sell our self to the man that we are interested in leasing,  possibly looking for the option to buy.  

  

My big question is....Where can we meet men besides online?  Any ideas?

I remember years ago.  I was probably 23 or 24.  A friend and I were at this cute mom and pop coffee shop enjoying the day.  We were sitting on one of the couches and talking about our dating difficulties.  Sitting on the other couch next to us was a sweet older couple.  They were somewhere in their late 50’s and very friendly.    My friend and I were talking about how difficult it is to meet men.  They overheard our conversation and starting talking with us.  The man tried to give my friend and I some helpful ideas.  His solution….golfing.  He suggested that we could meet outdoorsy athletic men by going golfing.  Huhhhhh, maybe.

Really,  plaid shorts and golf balls?  At the time I had never set foot on a golf course and didn’t really want to.  I asked him if we could just hang out at the golf club bar and meet the same outdoorsy athletic men while they were quenching their after game thirst.  I like beer and dislike embarrassing myself with a bad swing.  

 

Ok so we can meet men on a golf course.  Where else?

More recently, my friend’s mother shared some of her wisdom and suggested volunteer work.  She suggested volunteering at a place of interest because you would meet men with the same interests.  Sounds promising!!  I like kids, I don’t necessarily know if I want to have any but I do like kids.  She suggested that I volunteer at a Children’s Hospital.  I know, meeting a sexy doctor sounds nice.

Looks like my next google search will be “Volunteer opportunities at Children’s Hospital”  I have some free time and i have seen some cute male nurses and not just on TV.