Date of the Month-September #2 Improv show/dinner

Wow two first dates in one month.  That should up my odds of actually finding a lasting relationship.
It should....but didn't.

So I met September # 2 on OKCupid.  Yeah, I know what your thinking.  Your thinking that I should be meeting guys in other ways Your right!  I totally agree with you.

September #2 and I had spend time emailing about improv and he asked if I wanted to go see a show.  We decided on an improv musical show and met at IO in Hollywood.  IO is an improv school, theater, and bar.  It was recently redone and looks much more polished and put together. 

I arrived before he did and ordered a drink at the bar.  In retrospect,  I so am glad I had a delicious beer in my hand for the nights events.  He arrived and did look sort of as I had expected from the pictures on his profile... plus about 10 lbs and only 5'4.  Just so there was no mistaking him I also think he was also wearing the same things as in the pictures. Very helpful of him to do that.

He is an IO alumni and gets into the shows free.  I bought my ticket and we found a seat.

The show was awesome.  The group is called Opening Night.  Every week they get a suggestion from the audience to then create an original musical.  They sing, dance, and use jazz hands.  IT IS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.

IO does have pretty good acoustics, the performers know how to project their voice and the stage does have mics up over head. Please remember that improv is meant to be entertaining and it is often really funny too.  That particular show had some really funny bits.  This is about the point that I so glad to have a delicious beer.  Because September #2 has a really loud boisterous laugh.  The kinds of laugh that is so loud you can no longer hear what is going onstage to understand why he is laughing.  The kind of laugh that makes the people in front of us turn around and look at him.   He has the kind of laugh that includes hoots and hollers and other loud whistles and whatnot.   Yep, there are a few parts of the show that i have no idea what was said.  I know he thought it was funny. 

Thank goodness for beer.  So the show ends and September #2 suggests going to Kitchen 24.  It's a 24 hr diner around the corner.   We pretty much only talk about improv.  I guess we dont have that much in common.  We eat.  The food is pretty good and he orders dessert.

The waitress brings the bill and I reach for my wallet.  I am defiantly a believer that I should offer to pay.  I am fiddling with my purse to get my wallet out and he doesn't say anything about offering to pay.  huh.  Now here is the moment that I contemplate just grabbing my lip gloss out.  Pretending that I wasn't reaching for my wallet, just out of curiosity to see what he does.  Would he reach for the bill and calculate my total?  Oh I forgot to mention that he is an accountant.  Would he pay it and think that I was like so many other women that just assume that the man should pay?  huhh I wonder.

But I didn't find out.  I put my credit card next to the bill and told the waitress what to charge on my card.

 I am highly capable of buying my own dinner but do fall into the thinking that a man should pay.   It's just one of those perks about having breasts.

But then again he did kinda have them too. 

Update about August

August and I communicate mostly via text.  Its a quick and easy way to communicate.  He is pretty good about sending nice texts to say hello and wishing me a wonderful day.  We also periodically talk on the phone.  I am not complaining but he has upped the frequency lately.  This week we talked on the phone three times.  And not short little conversations.  Each time was a half and hour or longer.  Oh and just cuz i am sure your wondering who initiated the calls.  He did. 

We talk about a variety of subjects.  Most of the conversation flows evenly.  Thankfully, only one or two awkward silences have occurred.  I an not sure why.  I cant put my finger on why.  We are both interesting people and I am a great conversationalist. 

August and I talked about all the normal get to know you subjects like family, friends, college, work, etc.  He also told me about this really random tattoo that he has.  But, it is an odd tattoo and I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.  I can't label it right now but might find out for sure if it is real or not.  This one could make a girl giggle if she wasn't forewarned about it.
Anyways,  in a different conversation August did bring up our lunch date compliment me on my hugging skills.  He has such original compliments.  And so G-rated.  

August asked me if I had gone on any other dates.  I didn't want to lie so I told him about September.  I included some detail and the fact that I was not interested in seeing him again.  Since the subject was already brought up I decided to ask the same question.  The answer is No.  Part of me feels a little guilty for going out with other guys because I am interested in August and want to see where this goes with him.  I am going to continue ignoring that part of me.

August did ask me out again.   But he suggested lunch.  BOOO on that idea.  I understand why he suggested lunch.  He is really busy with work and studying for the LSAT.  But, seriously,  COME ON!!  What is that expression "All work and no play makes (insert name here) a dull boy"  Its true.  So I suggested something on a weekend but not this weekend because I am busy.

So while August and I were talking the other night, he complimented me on my voice.  Which is a really sweet compliment.  Much nicer than, "I like your tits".  And yes I have gotten that compliment... a few times.  Silly men you must deep down know that a compliment like that isn't going to end in the way you envision. 

After we hung up my mind wanders and I begin wondering how he will kiss.  The next day I text him and admit this.  He responds by asking me if I was horny.  LOL.  Before I can even think of a funny and witty response that does not actually answer his question he sends another text.  This one says, Don't answer that  I was just playing.  Well at least he isn't totally G-rated. 

Can this statistic be true

Women are very familiar with the old saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."  This saying has been used to discourage premarital sex but my real question is why do women accept and adhere to a phrase that compares us to cows.  Seriously!!!  As women, we are creative and industrious.  How is it that we have not come up with a better phrase and shared it with the world. 

And does this phrase actually deter women from giving "it" up?  

I did recently see this on Facebook and got a little giggle. 

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

After my giggling stopped I was left to wonder if that statistic can actually be correct.  Can 80% of women really be against marriage?  

Women out there, whats your opinion?  

 

Date of the Month-September Coffee Date

Ok so I met September on OKcupid.  Don't judge it is hard to meet guys.  September is originally from Detroit and on his profile he says that the men out here are "soft".  We emailed witty banter for a few weeks.  He mentioned the fact that he had been meeting a few women who have tried to hook him in and make babies.  That comment made made me laugh and shake my head in disgust over my genders behavior. I am sure that does sometimes happen.  I  guess some bitches be crazy.  

September and I agreed to meet at Starbucks for a coffee date.  When I got there I texted him saying I was there.  I was not fully prepared for the man that walked up to me and said hello.  I hope I covered up the shock on my face.  There are elements of September that actually looked like his pictures but the pictures showed a softness in his character that I  didn't see instantly when he walked up to me.  The tattoo on his neck of a black widow spider didn't help either.  Later, I looked back at his profile pictures to see why I didn't notice the tattoo.  I think it was because of the angle of the pictures.  The tattoo is on his neck toward the back past his ear.   In one picture you can see the spiders leg.  I guess I just didn't see it before.  

I have no problem with tattoos.  I have a few of my own,  I am just not fond of tattoos on the neck but is that a superficial reason to not want to date someone?  

September and I got our coffee and sat down to talk.  I like coffee dates.  It is a low stress way to meet someone and see if you click.

The conversation flowed easily. September and I both have a sarcastic sense of humor.  I asked him about the black widow tattoo.  I sarcastically said that his girlfriend at that time must have loved when he came home with that on his neck.  He mimicked her voice and went on a little tyrant questioning what the tattoo meant "does this mean you think I am a black widow? That I am going to spin you up in my web and suck the life out of you!"  

Since I wasn't attracted to him and did not feel the need to impress him, I was able to say whatever I wanted.  I could be as blunt as needed.  So when he asked me how dating was going I was honest and told him that he was a nice guy but I just didn't want to see him naked"   Now I don't want to you to think that was to harsh.  I said it honestly but not rudely.  September was perhaps a bit stunned but appreciated my honest.  He started laughing and told me that I was awesome.  

He was leaving to drive up to San Francisco the next day and we talked about passing Harris Ranch.  He referred to it as Cowshwitz.  Sad but a rather fitting name.  

Inspiration Strikes

I cannot take credit for coming up with the idea for Date of the Month. An amazing woman that I happened to sit next to at a painting class shared the idea with me.

See, I am slightly addicted to Groupon.  What can I say some of the things on there look fantastic.  A while ago I bought a groupon for a company called Canvas and Wine.  They do painting classes at restaurants and bars.  I tried to get a friend to go with me but had no luck and decided to go alone.  I found an empty seat in the front next to another woman there alone.  Her first name starts with an S so I will just refer to her as S.   S and I started talking about other Canvas and Wine classes she had attended, work, and then dating.  We shared some stories about our adventures in datingland and then S shared with me the brilliant Date of the Month idea and some of her past experience with Date of the Month.  I think it was a certain amount of fate that led me to that specific Canvas and Wine event, sitting down right next to her, and talking about dating with a new acquaintance. 

The idea to blog the events came from another friend.  Her first name starts with the letter M so I will call her M.  My sister, M, and I were getting drinks one night.  The topic of dating often comes up when single women get together.  M shared some wonderfully terribly stories that were quite amusing.  I explained what I was doing to stay in the game and shared the Date of the Month idea with her.   M thought it was brilliant and encouraged me to blog it.   

So while I know this sounds odd since you probably instantly think of the sexual fetish but I would like to thank S & M for sharing all their great ideas and stories with me.  You gals are amazing.  

Rules of Date of the Month

Here are the rules/guidelines of Date of the Month that I am following. 

I will be open to possibilities and go out with a different guy every calendar month.   The purpose is to meet eligible men to date in the pursuit of a prospective lasting relationship.

The same guy cannot be used for two different months unless

            a) We continue seeing each other on a regular bases after the initial first date.  When the Rule of Three is followed and we go out three times within one month than the same guy can be used for the subsequent month.   If we are on the verge of a relationship or in a relationship, we should see each other at least three times a month.  If not the relationship isn’t heading in the serious direction and despite feelings of attachment I will need to continue the Date of the Month and be open to dating other men. 

If I fail to go out with someone in a calendar month I am subject to the penalties, which include:

1)     A bit of social shame from my supportive friends who are also participating in the Date of the Month.

2)    When out on a group event, my friends get to pick a man (the target) which I must approach and talk to as well as fulfill the second challenge of asking him out. 
      -If the target says “Yes”, I must go on the date.

3)  In the event of the target saying “No”, my friends get to select a secondary target that I must approach, talk to, and ask out. 
   -If the secondary target says “Yes”, I must go on the date.

4)  If the secondary target says “No”, the punishment is over.
     I really hope my friends buy me a pity drink. 

      
Preferably a shot of something strong since I would have just been shot  down    
 ….twice.  There is only so much rejection a person can take.

Hook-ups do not count as a "date."  While it is possible for a real relationship to form as the result of a hook-up for the purposes of Date of the Month it does not count unless

a)    We went on a date before the hook-up

b)  and we end up going out on a date after the hook-up

Re-dating a man that I have previously dated does not count as a “date”.  There is a good reason it did not work out last time and for the purposes of Date of the Month it does not count unless the Rule of Three is followed and we go out three times within one month.

This is a great motivational took for dating.  It also takes away some of the fear of rejection that we all face about dating.  It takes some of the pressure away and reminds me to be willing and open to take a chance and stay on the wild roller coaster of dating.

My younger version and lessons for the future

As I mentioned before I have never been particularly good at relationships.  The younger version of myself had hoped that I could get it right by now.  But, I DIDN'T!!!

My younger self loved the chase.  My dating life was more of a catch and release program.  I loved the thrill of meeting and flirting with a new guy.  The electrifying moment when our eyes meet across the room is exciting.  I smile then coyly and deliberately look away.  Later while he is filling his beer at the keg I pounce on him like a tiger watching prey. 

I am a pretty witty person.  I can easily make people laugh.  So I make him laugh and banter about whatever topics come up.  My particularly sarcastic humor amuses him and I sense his interest rising.  He asks for my number and we make plans to go out.

Sometimes I would sabotage things.   I would quickly loose interest once I knew he was really interested.  Maybe because I though he is too needy or has an early onset receding hairline. Perhaps I felt that the conversation didn’t flow as easily as it had before or he was just boring.   I would find reasons or invent them.  Tiny little flaws would be all that I could see. 

Now I openly admit this allergic reaction I had toward the possibility of a relationship forming was wrong.  But it wasn't always my fault.  I have has some crazy things happen on first dates and some things that make it hard to not be jaded and hesitant.   

I have tried hard to suppress many of these events.   In an effort to grow as an individual and face things head on, I will share these terribly yet often funny stories with you along the way.  Maybe we will learn something.  I hope the lesson is deeper and more optimistic that the idea that men suck.

Date of the Month- end of August Lunch Date

My birthday is August 13th.  This year it fell on a Monday.   The relationship I was in had ended about a week earlier.  So the wounds were still fresh.  But I'm not one to let a guy get my down so I trudged on.

I spent the weekend before my birthday with the most amazing group of friends.  I stayed down in Huntington Beach with one of them.  We slept in, relaxed on the beach, rode 16.6 miles on our cute little beach cruisers, and of course went out drinking.

Monday rolls along and now Im feeling particularly depressed about being older and single.  I decide that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.   I had an OKcupid.com profile that I had ignored while dating the other guy.  It was now time to log back in.  Luckily I remember my password.

OKcupid allows you to assign a star value to each person.  Anytime two people give each other a high star rating and email is sent letting you know someone choose you.  Lucky for me I received one of those emails alerting me.

I am going to fast forward and summarize a bit.  We emailed, talked on the phone,  made plans for a date, and the plans fell through.  Now we come up with plan B, a mid week lunch date.

I met August at this little mom and pop Thai/Chinese restaurant in Pasadena.  I was just a few minutes late.  Don't judge it was hard to find.  I texted saying I was there as I was walking up walked through the door and he stood up to greet me.  We hugged.  Thankfully it wasn't akward and guess what ladies, he looked just like the pictures.  I did notice that he was shorter than I had pictured maybe 5'5.

Our booth was close to the window and it was a bright sunny day.  He sat with his back to the window which left me facing the bright light.  It made eye contact some what challenging with the glare.  I do have great social skills so i did my best.  Hopefully I didnt get any wrinkles from squinting.

We ordered and the conversation was good.  Thank god, I hate awkward silences.  But does anyone actually like them.  Ya probably not.  He has been busy with work and is studying to take the LSAT's to apply for law school.

We ate.  Sharing is caring and I tried his orange chicken.  My next thought was that he is not a very experimental eater.    Was that to judgy?

Its getting closer to the end of his lunch hour.  The bill comes and I reach for my purse but he politely declines.  I always feel that I should at least offer to go dutch but am pleased when he offers to pay.

We get up to leave and this is where things get more awkward.   We walk outside and head toward the crosswalk.  My car was parked across the street.  While standing waiting for the little man to signal that we can walk I notice just how short he is.   He is only a few inches taller than me and were standing pretty close together.  This is the moment I catch him looking down my shirt.  He tried to play it off but I'm pretty sure.   He walks me to my car.  I give him a hug goodbye.  I though about a kiss on the cheek but decided against it.  It was the middle of the afternoon on a fairly busy Pasadena street and he has to go back to work.

My final thoughts on mid week lunch dates.  I am not a fan.  Lunch Dates are bright, loud, and in this case had specific time constrains.

August is a nice guy.  We still text and talk.  He pushed off the LSAT date to have more time to study.  I know he will do well and be happy with the score.

Who I Am

Hello!  My name is Jaymie.

A little about me.  I am not one of those sappy women whose life goals and ambitions revolve around meeting Mr. Right, getting married, and making babies.  I do not fantasize about my dream wedding.  Ok I have a few preferences in mind but never drift away to daydream about the occasion.  I also am not really into babies.  They are cute and all but to be honest babies and pregnant women often make me nauseous.  There is a good story behind this I will share later.


Lets get back to the point of all this.  I recently turned 31 and found myself single again.  That's another good story I will share later.  Now just so you know I have never been particularly good at relationships.  The younger version of myself had hoped that I could get it right by now.  But, I DIDNT!!!

With all that said,  I would still like to meet a great guy that thinks the world of me and that I adore.  I would still like to find my happy ever after.

So in an effort to not crawl into a fetal position and cry myself to sleep every night or become a raging alcoholic that uses booze to mask any fear of ending up single forever.  I have decided to continue of the roller coaster of dating.  Fasten your seat belt it is going to be a bumpy ride. 


I will continue to search and go on at least one new date a month in an attempt to meet the right guy.  This challenge started in the month of August and will continue until one of two things happens a) I actually meet the right guy  b) a string of terribly monthly dates will make me reconsider my stance and the idea of being the crazy cat lady becomes more appealing.  Both possibilities will ensure endless humor.

Rules/guidelines that have been established for the Date of the Month.  I will post those in my next entry.  I also encourage anyone to join me on this adventure.  I would love to hear your stories of dating. 


I wish us all the luck and love in the world.